All’s fair in Cosm(et)ic world!

When I saw my daughter rubbing some solution on her hands  as she was leaving for her college I asked her out of curiosity as to what it was. She looked a bit annoyed and replied that it was a ‘hand’ cream.  This is one of the numerous applications I find in my daughters dressing table. I just happen to think about nearly half a century back when I grew with a fare share of sisters and brothers. We shared a small glass bottle of coconut oil rationed between us by the eldest sister for application to the head every day after bath.  The weekly luxury or torture whichever way you put it was the oil bath which most of the south Indian households will be familiar with. Come Sunday we would apply gingerly oil all over the body. Thereafter the hair was washed with a concoction of soap nut mixed  with other natural ingredients that gave your hair and skin a lovely sheen. People bought these ingredients from the provision stores and took the effort to mix them and keep them for weekly use. Of course soap nut powder irritated the eyes to no end thus causing redness but that was considered to be the hall mark of a good product and a good bath! On that day the entire house smelt of these natural products.

Then perhaps in 1960s if I remember right came smelly hair oils in different colours and aromas. Lavender, jasmine, etc. that spread a heady scent when people applied it and walked around.  For women there was just a snow called ‘Afgan’ for whatever reason that was applied to the face  & Remy talc. Then a sort of ad revolution started with one Mr. Farookh Engineer and who claimed to apply certain hair cream, which perhaps didn’t turn a single hair on his head as he faced the fearsome Wes Hall and Charlie Griffith  and nonchalantly dispatched their bouncers and beamers  to the ropes sending us in the galleries to a frenzy! This gentleman soon picked a beautiful bride perhaps due to the enduring  cream and settled down in the Down under.  

 Naturally we were dying to buy the stuff not just to improve our cricketing skills but more to attract a pretty lass. But due to the creams prohibitive cost only my eldest sibling bought it with his first salary. I secretly tried it for getting the ‘engineer’ effect and got belted instead by my   brother.  That was the last I had anything to do with dreams of creams & brunettes! 

                    

Then in late 70s came hand me downs in the form of shampoos and sprays that declared to the world that you had NRI siblings! In the 80s there was a shampoo revolution that ushered in one rupee sachets that promised to turn your hair into pure velvet!  The Rs.1 sachette completely killed the hand made  soap nut powder  and other local stuff. In one stroke it brought about a social revolution which none of the government programmes could do in 67 years. The slum dwellers and the 

rich and famous were using the same product  to enhance their hair into pure velvet . The manufacturer who toiled for this social service became a multi millionaire and toast of the town. Of course the water bodies and land have been so ‘shampooed’ that perhaps it will take another millennium to clean it up, if one is serious about it..

Came marriage. Me and my better half, as we were avowed critics of consumerism took a vow not to use artificial and smelly cosmetics. Then came two cute daughters.                                              

As they grew up in the 90s so did electronic and cosmetic business .  One company claimed, that their application made you turn like snow white of seven dwarfs fame! Their biggest market was perhaps Tamilnadu. Thus a subtle racist message that white is the only acceptable colour which was subtle earlier, is now become more sophisticated and deeply embedded into the psyche of entire South Indian men & women.  People here seriously believe that a few months of application of these ghastly cosmetics would turn them into Cinderellas!  Women of better complexion command better matrimonial market and that means fewer dowries! Soon other companies picked up the cue and improved their strategy and slogan. ‘Lovely’ became ‘glow’ then to ‘healthy’ finally it became ‘herbal’. Soaps were replaced by ‘wash’. Hand wash, face wash, hair wash then room & car fresheners and so on. It is no more just a shampoo for your hair. You are advised to use hair thinners that made your hair hang like straws from a scarecrow. It is not enough if you brush your teeth with mere paste but should rinse it in a solution. The process promised to turn your teeth into a torch light when you smiled! Now the clever of market gurus have made these lotions smell like lime, orange, vanilla, etc. so much so when I enter the wash room I feel as if I have entered a juice shop or ice cream parlour!

                          

I was thinking that the ad tsars could think more novel ways to better their already sky rocketing sales capitalizing on already insecure consumers. They should perhaps tap the region specific biases by introducing region specific  aroma sprays  Which would have the best endorsements. For eg. In the South, curd rice, masal dosa, bisibela, biryani, sprays  that the Dravidian parties would themselves endorse; in the North , malai kofta, panneer butter masala , dhal makhni , tandoori chicken sprays that the Badals & Yadavs would swear by; in the East sandesh, mishti dahi, fish perfumes that didi herself would use and In the west dhoklas, vadapav perfumes  which Thackerys  would embrace, and so on and so forth. Then the manufacturers  can claim that their intentions are not selfish but purely patriotic!